Setbacks

And if the answer is no
Can I change your mind

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Everyone has setbacks. Whether in our personal life or work life, there will be things that go wrong despite our best efforts. Many a times, the setbacks are out of our controls and are the fault of other parties. This is one of the many reasons setbacks cause us to feel such a strong sense of frustration, to the point of wanting to hurt the opposite party. We want to let them know our pain.

We feel angry that they messed up. Often times they do not take blame and they even point the finger back at us! And blame game goes back and forth, back and forth. Causing our anger to boil in our stomach and brain until it blows up and we lash out at our friends and family because they don’t understand what we’re going through. They don’t know this pain that we feel and harbor inside us, eating us away. And even after we solve the issue, we still are not happy because we think and reflect on the situation. It lingers in our mind and we dwell on it. While some people are better at getting over things, there are a lot of people who can’t let things go so easily. I am one of those, and I speak from experience. The sad part is that while objectively, we know this is not healthy; we continue to hold those emotions inside us.

The good news is that there is a solution for handling setbacks and it is actually very easy to implement. In the beginning, it will be somewhat of a change, but overtime, it will easier and easier.

What we must do is focus on the solution. Many times, people who encounter setbacks, focus on the problem and the individuals that are involved instead of focusing on the solution. In any situation, the first thing to do is accept that a problem has occurred and then force our mind to focus on what we can do right now to resolve the issue or lead us to resolving the issue. This accomplishes two things: the first is stopping our mind from wasting time dwelling on what-ifs, and the second, allows us to become problem solvers. As problem solvers, the problem now becomes an opportunity for us to grow by meeting the challenge. Of course with any problem, there is a solution and even if it is not the BEST solution, it still is a solution and having one is better than having nothing. By solving the problem, we stop the anger in its track, we stop all the blame game, and we stop the frustration. Instead, we fill this void with self-esteem, happiness, and confidence.

Author: Nhan Le

By way of Anaheim, CA.

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